Dead Cow Stinking Up The Joint

Andy VanceGovernment, Media

West Milford, WV – Just outside this quaint village of 500 folks just south of Clarksburg, residents are concerned about a foul problem. A foul-smelling problem, that is. It seems that along the edge of town runs the West Fork River, and just outside town the river is dammed. Typically, the dam is a great fishing hole for the locals. Rather, it was a great fishing hole. Now it just stinks.

The reason for the offending odor? A cow – check that; a cow’s remains – have become lodged on the dam and spent the past three weeks decomposing. Citizens are innudating city officials with calls to get the cow off the dam.

That’s the problem, though. The city doesn’t have the equipment or personnel necessary to accomplish the mission. They’re recommending citizens contact appropriate state level agencies who do have the necessary resources. Unfortunately, those agencies are throwing up their hands, calling the problem a local issue. The Governor’s office has referred the matter to the State Department of Agriculture, which has allegedly referred the matter to the local officials.

Oh, as to how the cow got on the dam? No one knows at this point, but the concensus about town is that one of the farms upstream is short one cow, but due to the whiff of controversy, has decided to remain anonymous.